I've been thinking about this post for a long time (like many others I still intend to write) but this week someone opened my eyes to understand this clearly.
There are SO many branches to this topic, but the pain I'd like to talk about is not physical pain, but spiritual pain. Now think with me for a minute and answer the following questions. If you say (or think) "yes" to any of them, keep those answers in mind.
-Have you ever felt hurt, sad, angry, or any negative feeling because of something someone did (or didn't) do?
- Have you ever felt anguish, sorrow, or any other negative feeling because of something YOU did (or didn't) do?
-Have you ever felt helpless, hopeless, or any other negative feeling because of a certain situation you couldn't control or your current circumstances?
The reason I chose these questions is because these are things I HAVE felt, and for the most part, I'd say it's safe to say MOST people have felt this at one point or another in their lives.
For a long time I held (and I'm sure I still hold on to an extent) on to a lot of pain, anguish and guilt. Some of it was because of pain caused by those around me. Some of it was due to my own poor decisions, which I acknowledge and hold myself accountable for. And, some of that pain was caused due to my circumstances or situations that were out of my control.
I grew up knowing and hearing about the Atonement of Jesus Christ, or repentance and many times heard the term "giving your pain to the Lord", but I didn't truly understand these concepts till recently. Truth is, I STILL don't FULLY understand them, but now I understand how to access them, and I'm actively learning how I can do more through the Atonement of Jesus Christ.
Now, I'm not going to sit here and say "oh yes, I know exactly how it works, here's the formula, you should try it", but I will tell you of a few personal things I've done to find MY OWN spiritual healing. My hopes in telling you this is that you'll turn to the Saviour himself and ask for guidance on how you can find your own spiritual healing through His Atomnement.
1-Created the habit of prayer
The first thing I did was actually to create the habit of prayer. This way I could learn how to speak to my Father in Heaven, and I also practiced listening to His voice. To some this may be a no-brainer, but although I've prayed all my life, I can't say I always did it with an open and humble heart.
2-Read my scriptures
This may also be common sense to many, but I haven't always been able to read my scriptures everyday. There are still days that I don't read them, life happens-but the next day I start again...and again, and again, with the hope that I'll be able to read my scriptures every single day and never miss.
When I say scriptures, I mean the Bible (Old and New Testament), The Book of Mormon, Doctrine and Covenants, and The Pearl of Great Price. And although I say "read", a lot of the times I had to actually study the scriptures and other historical sources to figure out why such things happened in such continents, and why it was acceptable back then, etc.
There is a reason why Christ taught in parables through the scriptures. We're all at such different levels of understanding that only when we go to Him can we get true answers and clarification.
3- I asked for help
I always prayed to God to ask for help, but there were times that I was guided to other people to ask for help. The Lord knows us. He knows our struggles, and He also knows how we learn best.
In my case, He knows that I LOVE to learn with my hands, and by helping those around me. Many times, He has put people in my path for me to help in one way or another, and THEY had an answer I'd been looking for, or a suggestion of a book I needed to read, or even words of comfort while I was going through a hard time.
I can't begin to tell you how many words of comfort I have received as I've lost count by now. He knows us. He knows me and loves me, and He truly wanted me to get to where I am today (and beyond).
There are other things I've done to seek spiritual healing, but I'd say these 3 covered the "base" of where I started.
At the top of my head right now I can think of 2 specific events that I needed to heal from. I'll give you the general idea without getting into details since the other individuals involved are still a part of my life.
(Part-1)The first happened when I was in high school and it was an extremely difficult emotional trauma for me. My parents were getting divorced, and like many other divorces it was a hard time for our entire family. There were countless nights where I cried (what seemed like) endlessly, and thought if any of it was my fault.
I'd think "How could I have helped my parents? What did I do? What about my brothers?" Etc.....
I clearly remember sitting on the kitchen floor (when nobody was home) and sobbing for what seemed like hours asking God if He was even listening. I remember feeling SO HELPLESS, but I also remember feeling like doing nothing wasn't the right answer.
I didn't feel like I fit in anywhere, not in school, church, etc. I didn't have any "bffs", but I had a few good friends who kept me occupied, and convinced to join different clubs in school. I started playing lacrosse, joined the debate team and the peer leadership team.
I can't say it was smooth sailing after that, but because I wasn't throwing myself a pity party and tried to stay focused in school I was able to accomplish little things at a time. Now looking back, I can see that during that time when I was crying on the kitchen floor is when my habit of praying started.
All I wanted was to know my Heavenly Father was listening, and not only was He there that night, but He'd been holding me all along-- listening. My healing didn't come from my parents getting back together and living happily ever after. It came YEARS later, as I looked back and realized He'd put good friends and church leaders to help me stay sane and lift my spirits.
My second story is also one of healing YEARS later, BUT it didn't have to be this way. When we need healing, the Saviour WANTS to help us, but at times we're not ready to receive that help, or in my case, I was too prideful. I chose to hold on to my pain and resent this person before choosing to forgive them.
(Part-2)When I started dating my husband, I KNEW I loved him and I wanted to be with him forever. And because I didn't want any harsh feelings from previous relationships to be in the way of my new relationship, I wanted to make sure I'd had closure with previous boyfriends, or guys I'd hurt their feelings/hurt my feelings (you get the point).
I decided to message the few individuals I had in mind, and I was able to have closure with them (which was awesome btw), except for one. Because I wasn't able to have the closure I felt I needed at the time, I held on to a lot of resentment for this person(although I was trying NOT to AND I didn't even notice I was doing this).
It wasn't until this week when a friend of mine said something along the lines of:
"There are SO many people suffering and holding on to pain unnecessarily. We have access to the Atonement of Jesus Christ, why not use it and ask Him to take our pain away?"
I was so excited when my friend said this to me, and in that moment I didn't understand why she mentioned that, but I knew it was something I needed to use. It wasn't too long after that Heavey Father brought it to my attention that I needed to forgive this person, and in order to receive the gift of forgiveness, I needed to let go of this old resentment.
Let me say that again. I NEEDED to let go. I needed to let go and hand my resentment OVER to the Lord. It was only after I DID let go that I was able to receive His gift of forgiveness in order to truly forgive this person.
I think a lot of times we can overlook the gifts God has given us, not because they're so grand (which they are), but because of the simplicity in which they come. Many times we expect some sort of grand thing to happen for our prayers to be answered, so the simple answers we get may pass us by.
We have the power to ask our Father in Heaven to heal us, and He wants to. It's up to us to do our part, to seek Him and His counsel in all things so that we may be guided by His hand. Why don't we? What's distracting us? Why do we forget to do the simple things?
What I lacked in the beginning wasn't the Saviour's presence--He's been here all along. What I lacked was faith, and staying consistent in prayer, scripture study and asking for help.
I still have so much spiritual healing to do, this life can be traumatic in billions of different ways for everyone. But thankfully our Saviour has atoned for our sins, so that we don't HAVE to hold on to pain. He has prepared ENDLESS ways for us to be healed, it's up to US to ask Him how.
❤🙏
~Lyssa
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